confuzeled says:

Today is April fools, and Win's birthday. I'm at Flexi class now and i couldn't be bothered to do my work because i just feel like ranting about everything. Sometimes i tend to do things without thinking, but hey we all go through that. I'm feeling extremely confused and unwanted, lonely and misunderstood. Actually i dont relaly know how to feel.. everytime something happens am i supposed to feel something? - i suppose so, cause then no one can tell the difference with me and a doll. But dolls are prettier.. much prettier. But Barbie dolls.. i think my boobs are more likely to attract more attention compared to barbie's.

Just a few hours ago i was in Media class. We were mucking around in the dark room. I totally felt that my whole media class was like 5 minutes. But i cant tell if its because i was having too much fun or because i was totally spaced out. Really cant tell.. but i developed really nice pictures! THUMBS UP FOR THAT! - but i kinda forgotten how i did it..!

I was thinking about changing to visual arts instead of small business management. We had the presentations on our different products just now. I haven't finish (as expected) and i was totally blown away by the other peoples work! I dont think i can beat that! And i get quite competitive at times! So yeah.. i'm going to talk to my tutor about changing to visual arts. But i need glasses so.. i cant really do visual arts.. oh is visual arts something else? - I can be quite negative about myself and totally positive about everythign else. Talk about REAL low self esteem. I don't know.. As the day passes by im feeling more moodless or confused.. i think its confused. The funny thing is i dont know what im confused about! Sometimes i love this feeling.. sometimes i hate it... right now.. im confused about it.

Later I'm going for some rowing thing. YES. i get to work out a lil! It'll be sweet cause Daniel is already as vunerable as he can be since he cant walk. He is a real retard.. jumping off a 3 storey building. He wasn't killing himself but if i were to kill myself (I SAID IF) that would be my last solution. Actually when i think about it, i would want a slow and non painful (obviously) death. Maybe sleeping pills. But that kinda boring cause i wanna die with honour! Maybe if i got a nobel peace award. Thats cool those things. But u got to like save a species or something to have that. Which is hard. I'm trying to save the sperm whales and sharks. By not eating them but they cant stop dying! I tried thinking about saving the doodoo bird but heck.. they are already extinct. I'd help the orang utans since (to some people) i live in a huge tree and my pet is a orang utan. Oh once i helped a hamster gave birth but they are no endangered. hmm.. well i can also get an award by helping the US and Iraq get along. Maybe if i buy them each a box of chocolates and say its from each other they'll love each other! Do they have chocolate in Iraq? Oh! I'll send chocolate to Africa to the kids who are starving! I always hated that quote " finish ur food(mainly veggies cause i hate em), think of the kids in Africa" I don't think the kids in Africa would like to eat the veggies that i spat out to the toilet bowl. But if i could i'd buy them all the chocolates in the world! Just that they'll most likely get diabetes! Are they actually such things as nobel peace awards because i just made it up..

So heres the quote of the day "I'd kill for a nobel peace award"

Attention.

I like attention But i dont like the attention where as... U are reading out to ur class cause ur teacher told u to and everyone is like.. starring at u..no.. not that type. I hate it when people are told to do something for/to me. Everyone should do what they want spontaneously. Thats what i want... spontaneous attention. I want heads to turn. who doesn't?

Like 5 minutes ago (im in media class now) I got so much attention for my photoshop work on Karen. I took some pictures on Karen, cut her out and some other stuff out, paste it on a background and blended it in. Loved the attention. What more.. i love my teacher's reaction.

But honestly i don't think they are that good and im not being modest.. im being honest.

Talk to y'all tonight!

DAY LIGHT SAVINGS OVER!

As u know today day light savings is over. This means that we are sharing the same time as Asia and we get another hour of sleep!

Today we also had to go for College Sunday. It was Sorta boring.. but it was fun hearing peoples sing. Oh.. we all had to wear white. AND... i had a GREAT TAN!

YEAH.. GREAT TAN!!.. at my boobs!

Then we had to go to the Claremont lifestyle fare.. For community service! real fun stuff.

I was working with Camels! Love those Camels.. i was helping lil kids on and off! And i got free rides too.

then i bought this shirt at one of the stalls. y'all should sign up. Don't worry its free. ITS FOR THE ANIMALS!

I got like heaps of homework. And i think i've gone totally mad... Seriously. Every single time i eat. I'd feel guilty about it! I'm trying to force myself not to eat. Because i feel i've gone too fat. I hate it. I used to be so comfortable about my weight and everything now i just drink water. But then i kinda force myself to eat cause i'd be flat out by 12 pm.. AH... but im proud of myself. I just ate tim tams with milk together with Chloe! She's supposed to be kinda on a diet at the moment because of her rivercruise next week! But...yeah my room is like coles hey? I have all the junkies and lollies inside. I'll take a picture later or something. ARGH.. MUST BE SLIM!!!!..

Think i need to go and see a doctor about my problem. OH WELL!

HAPPY SWEET 16 WIN!

Everyones having dinner now. But me and Amanda.. the yr 11 Amanda. She scared the hell out of me when sneaking behind me. I never really liked been sneeked up on. Nor do i like Souljaboy.. dunno how those 2 are related.. but yeah.. anyways I dont really gots anything so say. So i'll let the pictures do the talking.

I'll do some talking myself too! This is me and Sarah at the beach. I look soo fat here compared so her. SARAH U ARE NOT FAT!

And this is me and Amanda (yr 10 Amanda) at the beach! Waters the best today!

And that Pole at the background. Yeah, swam there and back.

Did i mention i have this hudge phobia of water?

Not really water. Im just scared if theres like something under the water.

And this is the birthday girl! + my roomie. Windermere! Sry i had to censore that. I just finish my shower then.

Then i helped Grace with her makeup. Plus i decided to do some on myself. Grace is gonna go to the Social soon. Theres bound to be some guys hitting on her. ;)
Oh yeah, awhile ago we went ice skating! i forgot to post this picture up! If u find me.. well good! cause there was quite alota peoples.

yeah thats pretty much all for today. I'm still awaiting for Daniels parcel to come. SHOULD BE SOON!.. at least i gots some SINGAPOREAN movies to watch by then! - THX AGAIN DAN~

anyways im gonna give win her pressie right now. CYA ALL TOMOWO!!

Yesterday was impossible to get a computer. Anyways.. now im at school, yes on a Saturday. Doing some community service thing. ABOUT YESTERDAY...

Me, Amelia, Becca and Charlotte just finish our dance project. About... Canon Cameras!!

I hated it cause i had to act as a nerd. The full video will be presented after we finish editing it!



Did a lot sports.. went swimming and jogging! Hopefully my legs will tone up. Then i was sooooo bored.. and sooo hungry. I decided to have EASY MAC! Best microwavable food there is! But i'd recommend u eat it with some slice cheese, best choice would be Singles from Craft! Sadly i burnt my tongue through the process. So the pleasure wasn't as pleasurable.. but still it was pleasuring!

After that i watch Breakfast At Tiffany's with Karen, awesome movie.

Audrey Hepburn is so gorgeous! and its soo funny. I shant tell u all the story of course. Cause i totally support u all to watch it!

Then I help Karen Dyed her hair! Chleo did too. We're dying it blonde first cause her hair is so dark, then we'll dye it red! but the results weren't so good. Tink i didn't put enough dye.. Oh well! We'll give it another go next time.

We'll i'll update more tonight. Today we are going to the beach to celebrate Windermere's birthday!! Cya all tonight.

Internet addiction should be considered a true mental illness, according to a recent editorial published in the prestigious American Journal of Psychiatry. Jerald Block MD says excessive online gaming, porn surfing along with e-mail and text messaging are signs of mental collapse and "merit inclusion" in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

This also includes blogging. U ARE ALL MENTAL!!

Skipped media going on to ebuddy. Chat to Sarina. Had a blast. Gonna send her and Lana some pressies by mail 8). Hopefully they'll get it sometime next next week.. haha! Sarina and I talked about heaps of stuff like the peoples we used to know back in primary 1. Miss em all.. but that bitch Stefanie.

Lana Kate and Liam. She's the bodacious babe and he's the trouble maker. Both are equivalent to be honest. I was chatting to Lana awhile ago. Hopefully she won't expect the surprise img ong to give her coming April 11th! But i guess she knows right now cause i said it on my blog. Oh well! - okay i wanted to make it a surprise that wasn't meant to be a surprise.. any of u peoples know what i mean? No? Me too. haha.. God i cant wait till April 11th! not only issit lana-bears birthday but its also the day i finally get to go home and leave this dreaded boarding house for 2 weeks. What paradise. I'm thinking about going to melb next long weekend. I hate it here in Perth. Plus, i'd finally get to see Lana.. and Liam of course. 8)

P.S Lana told me to write about her on my blog. There u go Lana!

Smile for the flowers

I was actually excited about getting up for school today, even though i still slept in. Well i was excited while sleeping! I think it was because im not JUST gonna see green whole day.. with all the vibrant colours everywheres. Gets my hyped up!

When Marie Curi won the nobel prize for researching more about radiation. I knew how she felt. Just that.. i don't really know whats radiation. During maths class. 2 outta 15 peoples got one of the algebra question correct! Guess who was in one of the 2? Haha.. Such glory.. felt good to smile at the girls opposite me while inside their heads their probably saying.. u wait biatch, next question. Haha..

Last night i talked to David on the phone. Was good... Miss him so much.. i think he has a girlfriend but he isn't telling me about it. haha.. its okay David.. i'll find out sooner or later =]

Karen and Siran just came back from their Romeo and Juillet audition. Karen was Romeo and Siran was Julliet. Though.. in my point of view.. I think Karen should be Julliet. I tried practicing with her back in Media class. I dont understand this thou and thy shit. I hate the 1800s..

Tomowo is just another boring hippie-less day. Shall the award-winning, hating 1800s, spirit be within me.

Spread the love my flower blossoms! Tomorrow is Harmony day. Let the love and peace shine upon thy selves!

Basically means tomowo, its a free dress up day. I wouldn't actually call it free, considering we have to pay " one golden coin" - pricy hey? So anyways.. yeah its pretty simple. U pay 1 shiny dollar and u get to dress up as a hippie. Woo-pee!

Anyways. I have this stupid maths pop quiz tomowo.. not quite something hippies would do but.. hey we are at school! Also im finally chatting to Nad on msn! FINALLY.. I'd always see himas away and he'd always ignore me.. He was fairly touched (not literally) by my comments about him in my other post. Karen is being nosy now.. she can wait till i post this. Poor thing.. trying to log into her blogger acc.. thats because im posting that she cant log in.. but shedoesn't know that! - not until she reads this! haha..

anyways.. IS (internatioal students) have to bring their cultural outfits for some fashion show.. not quite sure if its still on.. but hey i dont mind wearing my chong sum!

Pictures of the hipsters and hippers will be up tomowo! (hopefully) i shall let karen go on hers now. Peace and love my rain makers :D

Different.

yesterday i had some talk with Rauth. It was about love.
I'd always thought that love had to do with somebody who loves u, which gives u the complete perfect reason for u to love them back - something like that. My perspective on love is confusing.. still is.. but after i talked to him.. not as much - but still a wee bit confusing.

I think rauth is going to be a real famous lecturer/adviser or something. He has so many wise but stupid things to say. I sometimes feel so dumb when i'm next to him. Some of his ideas can be TOTALLY ridiculous and yet it makes such perfect sense. We do the most stupidest things together and yet its worth talking about- well some are just plain stupid.
I miss him heaps and i cant wait to see him and thank him for changing how i think about love now. I'm sure this happened to many of u. U get into some situation with someone and u start thinking about them over and over till u end up having feelings for them. Ah.. so typical. But y'all dunno the real shit thats going down.

Rauth says: (11:10:41 PM)

cause ash you know what love is?

Rauth says: (11:10:52 PM)

love is something that makes you feel good

Rauth says: (11:11:08 PM)

it gives you a reason to wake up everyday

Rauth says: (11:11:22 PM)

you just dont realise it but its love that drives your life

Rauth says: (11:11:24 PM)

its why we carry on

Rauth says: (11:11:33 PM)

but the thing about love is

Rauth says: (11:11:56 PM)

that you dont need another person to feel the same way about you inorder to love them

and the " i love u " back is just the bonus.

There goes my weekend..

Dad's going back to singapore and i'm so wishing for him to take me with him! I think my dad is a really stereotype of person.. in a very modern way, get what i mean? No, i dont either.. hard to explain but he is just that kinda person. Gosh i miss him so much. He brings out the true "spoil brat" in me.

I think he's the most silliest man alive. He wears his sunglasses everywhere, including the toilet. I wouldn't be surprise if people thought he was a crazy blind man. Miss u dad!


We went house shopping. So far I only liked this place at the center of Subiaco. Theres like a train station and woolworths, along with some cafes there. Its pretty sweet. Yet, house shopping can be so tiring..



No matter another 19 more days won't kill me! - will it?


I got this huge headache watching Johnathan playing some shooting game on PS3. I was never fond of those games. Always made me jump when the enemy pops out at u, plus i'd kill everything.. including my teammates, yet i don't blame myself.. I find it funny how we were all dressed alike.

On another sad foot, My life time hero, Crazy man with his juju has came to Perth. (Bryon Bay to be exact). Sadly i missed out on his concert. AGAIN! It was just yesterday actually and i found out about the concert TODAY. Well... i suppose it would be even more depressing to find out on the day itself, especially when i was totally busy yesterday. Sad.. but Crazy man and i are destined.

So far, i've missed out on 3 of his concerts and we were in the same country! But i have to reckon the most painful one was when i was in Singapore. I won the tickets to his concerts from HMV too! - truly heartbreaking.

A Haiku:

Big Banana Smile,
These Bananas are a Trip.
Love is Bananas.

-by Jason Mraz.

oh well.. its Lunch.. catch y'all later

HYPED UP..

hello fellow body slappers!
First off..
Happy belated birthday to Sam!!~ <333
Happy birthday to ryan --- be honored ur name is in my post :D
And happy World Water Day!! -- love ur water!!

This day was first formally proposed in Agenda 21 of the 1992 United Nations Conference on Environment and Development (UNCED) in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Observance began in 1993 and has grown significantly ever since. ---- im skipping all the boring parts.. so today when u are drinking that glass of water.. think about all ur love ones.. going down ur throat into ur body to keep urself dedrated!

AND THE THING THAT HAS ENLIGHTENED MY DAY!! IS THIS!!
Along with Sirans soon-to-be famous quote:

"MY BROTHER EATS BEEF LIKE A COW!!" - Siran

HAHAHHAAH.. well.. i'm gonna be pretty busy for the rest of the day.. So Cya all tomowo! :D

Missing Kuching!

This is my bestest bud Eric, whos like.. a big brother to me even when im as tall as he is. I'm not in this picture but since im like writing about him i oughta make him look nice plus i was with him when he got that fake tatt.. haha sry to Azree for making u look so bad, back there in the background. Haha.

Boboy! i miss u heaps! and if u are reading this while at work or something i hope u know that im coming home soon and i'll go out with u everyday! i'll visit u at work and u can sleep over and bitch about people with me at night! Plus we can take those cool pictures that we always take like this one.

Yeah my brotha from anotha motha, Eric is really good at these things. I guess cause he is a Filipino. Damn! Those peoples are natural perfectionists! They are good at everything.. makes me so envious. But best thing i love bout him is how he always makes me laugh at the most stupid things. He's probably one of the peoples that make me laugh till i piss in my pants without knowing.. yeah sure others make me laugh. but i know when i piss in my pants. haha. . I find it so funny how he always tried to straighten his hair with my curler and how he loves to wear my high heels. Miss him heaps..

Another one who i miss lots is this bitch right here! Miss how we'd bitch about how hairy that girls armpit is during piano lessons. I think im like.. so lesbian around her cause everything we do seem so les-y, like how we'd lie down at Kasuma and watch the stars at night, or go swimming at night and just talking about life. Gosh... i think she is pretty but not THAT pretty! .. kidding. Wish i was there with her to help her out with her probs.. she was always an emotional bitch.. haha she needs someone to knock some sense into her.. =[

Thats me and nad at the prom last year.. god how i miss him. Well this year hopefully i'd get to go to his prom. I promise him i would.. If i were in kuching i'd be there too! Depressing at it is.. im happy to see him moving on with mia. Hope she's been treatin him nicely or i'll stuff something up her ass. I just noticed how fat i look in this picture. But for his sake i'll put it up :D
This guy was like..what.. the new kid in my school last year and i got to be besties with him in less than 6 months we were shaving each others legs. He's like a really talented guitarist and when i come back i'll record him playing, let y'all hear :D

Thats my old school uniform which we "modify" everyday. haha.. and that there girly is like practically my childhood friend! Knew her since i was like in what.. primary 1? Name Anggreiny. Unique name hey? Love her to death.. I cant wait to go to her prom this year..! she'd always make me laugh.. (i love people who make me laugh). Everytime we slept over we'd watch scary movies and like totally laugh about it. I found it quite sadistic.. but Hey.. it was fun! We'd go and pretend she's owning some burger stall and i'd pretend to use blu tack as money to buy her so called "burgers" - or dare i say cardboard materialized burgers :D



Lana was another of my childhood friend. She's so pretty and talented in everything..Heres the funniest story. Eric's bestie, name Sam who was in melbourne, knows lana who is in melbourne, when they were kids. So lana, me, sam and eric all knew each other when we were somewhat.. kids! Funny hey? Well know lana is in 5melbourne.. hopefully i'd get to see her during the holidays and we'd go and do some stuff again like finding treasure or making her do my english homework. haha.. miss her heaps..


I HAVE YET TO FINISH!!!.....

I HAVE NO FORGOTTEN ABOUT U!!
i was just busy just now. NOW THE BEST FOR LAST :D

Sarina, my NUMBER 1 bestie! who is like.. half way across the world from me !! but im happy everytime she comes back because she bring really sweet Irish lollies! and i lurve her dogs.. i remember how me and her and Lana used to have sleep overs and we would start videoing each other and playing with Ace and Toffee ( her adorable doggies). With the picture right here we were in Singapore and omg ..that was like one of the best trips i ever had! We even met Ceddie there and then she slept ova and and and and and and and.. OMG.. u gotta love her braids! :D Through all my worries and troubles.. u are the only person who can actually deal with it! Miss how we went to S'club nearly everyday through year 7 and were supposed to "study". Because of us S'club had some romance with it too! hahaha.. Hopefully she'll come back during rainfest and we can party as usual. She's a big rainfest far :D
bring me some lollies!!

What a day..

And its not even over yet! haha.. I love today!.. went to school, drifted off while TRYING to listen to my Mrs.Silberstein (at least i tried!), felt bad for not doing my maths homework, ate alota easter eggs, drifted off at English again - but that doesn't matter.. Ms.Tuchaai has shit coming out of her mouth... oh then i wagged house.. haha! no singing for me and Vas.. gotta say it was pretty boring for a wagging session.. i oughta buy some cards or something haha..

After that i saw my Dad! Miss him ever so much! We went to Garden City and saw Rachel at the Food Court.. i love how her mum dresses!! How tacky of me to say that.. haha.. Then!!.. OMG.... i shopped so much.. i tink i lost 2kg while doing so! This is what i bought
- 3 pair of pants
- 5 tops
- 2 perfumes
- 1 pair of shoes
- 6 bras
- 5 underwear
- a pack of shit.

My boobs feel so elevated!! how pleasant.. haha. Oh and i got this lil sucker.



After which we went to the service apartment which is so totally cool. Way better than that shithole, Darkes apartment.. look at the bloody name! And dearest got sent to the hospital.. hope he is okay, still fella sprained his ankle!

OH... i got some cool eye liner.. works really good... so good till i cant get the fucking thing off! Even after i finished my shower (i finally took a shower!) it still looked like someone punched my eye!

Anyways.. i'm gonna go do something stupid..!

To Be Continued...

what a day...

Today i had this really hard SOSE test.. i feel so dumb after it.. writing buncha shit like.. oh Japan maybe more popular than India but India has no polution and such. OH WELL!!.. its just SOSE.. haha.. what other things happen.. oh.. yeah i went to bayview after school and i bought.. heaps of stax and lollies for easter! .. who doesn't love easter???

At dinner i was kinda down... because they didn't had anything nice to eat and i was in a lil arguement.. but i didn't wanted it to bother me cause Karen kept on bugging me to go to the Year 12 production with her. It was kinda boring actually. .i saw some peoples from my tute.. I find it so hard to see my peoples in my tute outta school.. or shall i say in school cause the production is held in the hall.. no wait.. okay i meant seeing them outta school uniform! (which reminds me i haven't even showered yet.. dont think i will.. 2 days in a row!! :D) or maybe.. they'd find it even more awkward when they see me outta school.. cause im ALWAYS stuck in school! Since i LIVE in it!! Oh and at dinner Bam Bam (that fucking whore.. ) gave Siran this really cool mickey mouse flash light.. and when u flash it.. it shows a cute picture of mickey!! fuck her.. she never gave me anything.. even when i asked for it. Doesn't really matter cause i doubt i'll use it anyways! Oh!!!!! and i bought this really cute toy for Chloe, who's birthday is this sunday!.. (EASTER CHILD!!!!!!) yeah.. i bought this really cute black thing (i'll take a picture of it later) and when u squeeze it.. it says.. "oh yeah baby.. oh yeah.. SLAP ME.. SLAP ME! .. WHOS UR DADDY!!!!" ... hahahahaahahahha.. fuck...

yeah then i went to the year 12 production.. pretty funny.. ahhaha.. i can say those are some talented girls! but i really didn't understand anything..plus.. i was having abit of a thing with someone really special... it still hurts as im typing.. but nvm.. i know he wouldn't wnat me to be upset.. even though he like.. probably calling me a fucking slut or cunt.. or bitch or whore.. or.. maybe.. ALL. Nah.. i shant assume. Anyways.. after having a "conversation" with him inside my closet.. yes there was some tears and a lot of shouting.. im like.. really trying to cheer myself up now..

Dear dearest.. please dont think that i do not care for u because im like.. talking so much and shit.. because as u know.. im not a person who hates to be upset and yeah.. i hope u forgive me for the stupid things i've done.. im really not lying to u..i did go for the fucking production and i wasn't ignoring u.. u should better by now that ignoring is the last thing i wanna do because i really hate it when ppl ignore me and when i ignore them. I shall give u time to think about it... ~

MOVING ON... yeah.. Amanda is right next to me at the moment.. and she told me to write about her.. okay...so here it goes... "amanda.. stop sucking my ass".

AND.. i got a lil something something from ERIC~



LASTLY.. here is a lil something to make y'all smile.. (it was taken awhile ago)



OH OH OH OH OH OH OH !! (sounds like im fucking).

TOMOWO MY DADY IS COMING HERE!!.. this means that there will be heaps of shopping and such! Plus i get to use my mac! .. this means.... YOUTUBE, SKYPE, FRIENDSTER, FACEBOOK!!!.. YEAH BABY YEAH!!!.......

btw siran just jumped on me.. i feel so used.. now she and amanda are laughing at me.. amandas laugh reminds me of a hyena and rachel just hit me with her bottle... i cant stop talking now.. because if i stop i'll be really emo.

I find it really shocking.. and like.. i have nothing to say..especially when u care about someone so much and they are like.. really pissed off at u.. so like im guessing this is how i felt when my mum first yelled at me.. unloved..mistreated.. misunderstood.. man it sucks.. but its okay.. we all go through this and i gotta start looking on the bright side of life.. lets start by looking at my funny pictures :D



BYE EVERYONE !!! TILL TOMOWO

recently..

Happy birthday Anggreiny. Sry i wasn't there for u =[

This was the really RECENT.. (literally 5 mins ago) with Karen all cause i wanted to have a picture of her in my blog :D... i look like fuck here.

Rach.. im not sorry :D
Siran im sry... :D

SOCIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(still waiting for win to gimme the others.. )