Don't want it but i need it. Seriously

Listening to: Hide & Seek (Tiesto's in search of sunrise 6) by Imogen Heap.
- Its a great song btw!!!

I hate those songs that makes u think. Because then i really waste the whole night, instead of sleeping i mindlessly thinking and thinking... about what? - Life of course.

I was never much of a thinker.. As a result i tend to say things i dont really mean/really do mean. Its up to u to believe either way. But i know this afternoon i said some shit which .. relies on both. I meant it when i said what u did was very irresponsible and that u can be an asshole, but when i think about it now i don't think i really meant it when i said that i dont trust u anymore. I think that trusting someone means that u owe them something. Regardless of what they did u fucking know that the trust will always be there and u cannot take it away. No matter how much u dont want to admit it. U need that trust.

Techno spins my head and fills me up with adrenaline. I thought that, that can only come from music.. yeah and a bit from love. But i didn't know that breaking someones trust can be so devasting! Yes i don't really show it.. mayeb because.. i dont really think about it. There i go again.. about the thinking thing.. yeah i should spend more of my nights just lying in bed and thinking.. not liek i dont. I think about u every night, all the fun happenings that gonna happen when i come back.. with everyone. Just that i dont think about the more important things. Thats my problem. This is probably why i tend to screw up in relationships.. doesn't matter if its with a guy or a girl or my mom or dada.. i always say shit and never think it through. I hate that about me.. that barrier of trust is some how always broken! I guess this is me fickle minded ashley!

No matter how much i dont want him.. i think i really need it now. '

I think.. im gonan call mum now and tell her what happened. Cya all later.